


Reflection

by FallenBridesmaid



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Break Up, Drug Use, M/M, Self loathe, Self-Destruction, self hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-20
Updated: 2012-12-20
Packaged: 2017-11-21 19:04:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/601093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallenBridesmaid/pseuds/FallenBridesmaid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had been a week. Seven days, three hours, and thirty six minutes since he locked himself in the lab without anything except a whole cabinet of booze and an assortment of brightly colored pills.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reflection

"Look at you. You lazy drunken drug addict." Tony snarled at his reflection. "All you do all day is sit down in this lab and drink. Every. Single. Day. You hardly even take time to see your boyfriend!" He laughed bitterly at himself even though there were tears flowing down his cheeks. They were angry, bitter, and sorrowful tears. The genius was feeling too many emotions at once. He was a wreck. His hair was all fucked up, his breath smelt of whiskey and bourbon. He hadn't showered in a week. There was grease all over his clothes. Empty-and sometimes broken- alcohol bottles littered the lab. Tony had either thrown them at the wall in a fit of rage and they had landed there or he'd dropped them sometime during his week of solitude.

Had any of the others came to check on him? Yes. Had he locked the door and forced Jarvis to put up a steel encasing around the lab? Possibly. Had Steve come to check on him? Not once. It had been a week. Seven days, three hours, and thirty six minutes since he locked himself in the lab without anything except a whole cabinet of booze and an assortment of brightly colored pills. Tony had randomly,in a sudden fit or self loathing, realized Steve was too good for him. Realized he wasn't worthy of a man like Steve. He had lashed out, yelled at him, screamed as loud as he could at Steve.

"You deserve better! Go out and find yourself someone worthy of dating you, Steve! Someone who is actually worth loving because we are done, Steve Rogers! We are done because I'm not who you deserve me to be!!" Steve hadn't said a word, just walked stoically out of the tower. Tony had ran down to his lab as soon as the front door had shut and hadn't looked back. After the first two or three days, Tony had started to feel angry. He was angry at himself for making Steve run off. He was angry at Steve for not staying. He had thrown bottles, smashed half finished inventions and tried to break the barrier separating him from the rest of the world-which had ended in two bloody fists and a fucked up knee. He was angry at everything for two days before the sorrow sunk in.

The genius had screamed at his boyfriend to go the fuck away and to leave him. And Steve had left him. Tony had ruined his relationship because he thought he didn't deserve somebody as good as Steve. He had fallen to the floor howling Steve's name, begging him to come back even though he knew the blonde wasn't there to hear him.he had fallen to his knees begging a god he had never believed in to make Steve come back. Tony had sobbed and howled and begged until his voice was hoarse. The rest of the Avengers had heard his howling and Thor damn near broken through the steel trying to get to him.

He had yelled hoarsely at them to leave him alone. After a few hours they did. That was four days ago, they haven't came back since. "Do you see what you've done?" The dark haired man asked his reflection. "You've driven them away. Steve, Nat, Thor, Pepper, Clint, even Bruce. Everyone who was supposed to stay left. And you wanted them to, didn't you? Oh yes. Because no one deserves to have to be around a monster like you." He spit the words as if they were venom. "They all deserve better. You're just a burden on everyone's shoulders. Steve didn't need all your shit. All your self loathe and depression. That's why he didn't protest when you told him to leave! He was only too happy to oblige. " His voice dropped to a dark whisper. "No one needs a monster like you."

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this Drabble when I was feeling particularly worthless and I felt I wasn't good enough for my girlfriend and like she could do much better. I wasn't going to tell her that so I wrote this instead. I hope you enjoy my misery :/


End file.
